Steffani Smith here, founder of Cornerstone Fundamentals! My purpose for these audio blogs are to provide a fresh perspective from my experience teaching, guiding and caring for young children. My conversational topics are evidence based, which highlight my suggested approaches and support a cause to pause on topics of interest. Happy you're taking a moment and a listen.
The (Not So) Great Divide | An Audio Blog | Camouflaged influences amongst caregivers and families of young children| Text and narration by Steffani Smith - Cornerstone FUNdamentals Founder
I’ve wanted to create some audio blogs for quite some time now on upcoming and previously posted content because if you’re anything like me living in this multitasking world anyway we can just elevate our insight by automating the processes a total score!
To preface, I was in the shower one morning and several professional and genuine point of interest coincided together! It always amazes me the power and effect that water has to help connect the dots and connect thoughts to formularies visions to tangible ideas. Confirming that investing in a waterproof notebook has certainly been proven useful and has allowed me to jot those sparks of connection down!
So let’s just dive right in!
My antidote To The (Not So) Great Divide - a call to action.
This is an observational response piece that speaks to all parents and caregivers of young children. This could encompass caregivers that are hired, for instance, a nanny, babysitter, Au pair. Could also be neighbors, grandparents, older siblings, extended family, to even those starting their homeschool journey or as we all know the ever growing working parents from home. You know I have said supporting our children’s caregivers better supports our children but you know it really can’t happen until you start to peel back some of those not so noticeable layers or ones you just can’t really pinpoint…and what I want to start of saying is,
“I see all you caregivers, your kids see you and I’ve got you!”
So first I want to point out the need to identify what’s going on, just like a cold we've got to identify what is going on before we can even remedy it. So that would be in this case what does or does not seem to work best for your kids, their moods and overall reactions and responses.
Secondly let’s take action so we kind of have an idea of what’s going on and we need to communicate and provide support to those caring for your children, especially if it may be those that are causing some of these disconnects.
Making sure your caregivers know what your family feels is healthy and best for your children.There’s a couple ways that can get a bit lost in translation. Which I will speak about later in this piece.
Thirdly, once known it’s getting and gaining the tools needed to enable that training, that secondary learning period and connection to happen. This is going to be for your adults as well so your kiddos your children. Then check in with your children to see if these tools are working!
It's not so easy to gain tools and access, I mean we live in a busy world and it’s hard enough to find great care for your kids but you can elevate that care and it can be more seamless. I’m gonna try to help parents recognize to get us started on a better path and parental journey.
These are ultimately goals that are going to help your family and overall care plan! The (Not So) Great Divide, I break down into three primary and influential groups .
The first one would be the cultural divide. Many of our caregivers, such as nanny’s, au pairs are from different country or nationality for this can lead to several areas in which that bridge does not connect fully. language as well as views on upbringing can be vastly different in this area. And of course, not to say caregivers are not wonderfully caring people that ensure your children are safe. However this may really need to be discussed more fully and then observed. This is to really ensure the child is getting above “adequate care”. This area can often be overlooked as the standard of care may be communicated but the execution of that request may look different to the person that’s listening to these guidelines. This could be inadvertently a lack of understanding, possibly by some communication breakdown but also by choice and this most likely will not be communicated back to you.
This
goes hand in hand with nutritional guidance,
emotional support, as well as consequence approaches. These children may not
report these back because these young children this is the first exposure
they’re having and maybe so slight it may be something children may not know
would not be in the flow of your normal family’s day today. But a benefit from
this cultural difference can be positive in many ways, and of course a second
language to any child is just a boost and just a wonderful opportunity.
But really looking at the overall scope can outshine the merits of a second language! As well as the adult eye keeping everyone safe.
Moving onto number two the generational divide
for family members that would be stepping into partake as the caregiving team for your young children can be such a blessing. You can have an existing family member who's approaches may not be so disruptive, and then have another one where certain aspects can definitely affect your child and the overall flow within your family unit.
Previous generations have so much to offer and can plant such great seeds, and intern some seeds that don’t grow confidence and create more reactive fear-based responses are not what anyone is hoping for. These may not be so apparent to our children as they are ultimately the gatekeepers and cannot at times feel this information needs to be passed on. Generation approaches will look different with each child and also depending the generational gap as well as just the overall upbringing of that caretaker, it may not be as apparent but grandparents and older relative stepping in may only be applying the tools of what they have been introduced to may not merit your children for today and how you function in today’s world.
And
also like cultural divide I highlight the differences with nutrition obedience
expectations can all look a bit different as well just engagement in permission
first touch and some of our relatives have been raised on different rules of
thumb when it comes to interacting kissing, hugging, saying hello saying
goodby, tickles and things of that nature. I think just having open
conversation is going to be very important in this area and understanding that
each child and each family unit are different.
OK I’m at the third group for this piece that would be
the occupational divide.
Speak to parents who are working from home those that have higher profile rolls or emotionally and just in timewise invested in their position their day today. Each year we have more technology at our hands and a connection opportunity to just better our lives with tools that allow us to automate things and just become better multitaskers. But I think that we are all growing to realize that the need to realize what is being lost is equally as important so we don’t lose connection pieces and times with especially our younger generations and the children that we have in our lives.
You know, parents and households are so much busier and again with multitasking and for the family it can inevitably take away from those that we are really trying to serve and that essentially would be our kiddos are children. They certainly can see that smoke in the mirror and really get down to the root of your absence and of course they may not understand it and you may not always see it. There’s only so much time in a day. I certainly know that and how real connection and daily play can be possible if you are working especially if you’re working from home and we are flooded with all these informational videos and emails and social contact on ways to better yourself and ways to better you and your children. But it cannot necessarily be so simple and the emphasis on even just bridging those gaps and those that are affecting and interacting with our kids can certainly help remedy some of that and get yourself started on the right track!
And really ways of starting that to not go too deep into this particular blog would be daily and consistent approaches. They can happen consistently. Without the inevitable fear of possibly interrupting your workload during that midday play time. This is a growing issue with more parents working from home as their presence is physically there and I think it can make us all feel it’s a benefit but really it can cause more distance and even the more apparent reminder of their present with them.
You know, I also want to shine light on all the children that don’t have a sufficient care team and really need much more assistance then even just your quote “normal day-to-day” children, her information, however, I am presenting this really to highlight the more broader audience, the ones that we feel like we know and can identity with. We all are different and we are not all a perfect shining example. That is why I think this piece is so important so that we can remedy it with just some simple tools and approaches, and really cause the domino effect to slow itself and provide positive direction.
Not with just those children but with all of those that are caring for them we are their advocates. And if we can set that standard of what our interactions should look like with everyone involved which would result in feelings of safety, better bonds, in most cases willingness to participate, obey, be more attentive to guidelines rules, and really want to touch on the fact that when I mentioned that rules established especially for young children allow for health and safe boundaries to be established, routines and expectations cause a domino effect with respecting our family are peers, as well as the environment in which our kids live in play.
That said, I am just so pleased to provide materials tools and even wellness toys to parents and children and especially targeting the parents that are in need of connecting or feeling that lack of connection or possibly even lack of response and maybe some resistance from the young children also to amplify the caregiving team has a whole so that everyone can be on the same page and are essentially trying to follow that same approach with our children. I’m happy to bring healthy and easy starting points, and cliff notes in The Daily Saves Notebook to help you engage in play, nutritional points and just the overall starting mechanisms of each day with young children.
As well as providing consistency and a direction for your connection! And really allowing kids that opportunity to have positive tasks and the joys of free independent play, the learning toys that I have created and curated are just wonderful additions to caregivers, maybe new caregivers stepping in, the family unit as a whole. Just really setting out a standard of expectation in a very healthy independent way for children to approach their day to day.
I’m so happy that you have tuned in and taking a listen please like and subscribe if you’d like more content and feel free to always reach out to me on any of my products or pieces of information I would truly love to hear your responses if they are suggestions or even comments as to what I am to mean all worlds hardest to join in and bridge the gaps of these different device in our lives.
My background if you have not seen my introduction and welcome video online on the YouTube channel I’ve had 12 years of experience working with children ages 2-8 in private homes and in groups as well as with foster youth, in a mentorship program and have been able to be a keen observer and an active participant with in the mentors, teaching and guiding process process and not only have I interacted and helped with young children I have also been just as active with their families, coaches, psychologists, teachers and just those people that are interacting with their children as well and I got such a wonderful take on what that can look like in many different situations.
I’m
also grateful to have the knowledge and the look within that wonderful lens of
so many specialized educators, psychologists and really forth materials as well
as wellness toys for their children's coming
parents to result in my drive to provide guidance tools. And parents to result in my
drive to provide guidance tools materials as well as
wellness toys for their children learning experience and a way to approach their
day today when you have a moment please come see me at your preferred viewing
platform and shopping page you can also find my All-in-one Hide Away
Helper Learning Bins, my Story Cubes, my Kids Care Kits we have a couple more products coming out along with The
Daily Saves Notebook and additional complementary learning toys! I’m quite
excited for this opportunity to engage you and your family and your children
have a wonderful day and please know we are greater and stronger together.
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